"It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." A.Holmes

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Mom's Birthday

"In every conceivable manner, the family is our link to our past, bridge to our future." Alex Haley
~Today is a day I have ignored for quite a few years. The memory of my Mother and her birthday was best left alone if I wanted to have a nice day, but today I have found sadness for the loss of my mother and what could have been. Above is a picture of my Mother in a happier time, when she and Dad were in love and probably thought they would live happily ever after. Well that usually happens in Fairy Tales to people who think" Happily ever after" means ' life without reality and consequences'. ~I was looking up quotes about mothers, and like birthday cards for mothers, none of them were appropriate. I loved my Mother, and I have quite a few happy memories of her. She died 2 decades ago and her last few years were ones of much grief and tragedy for my sisters and father and extended family. I wish my younger sisters had as many pleasant memories of her as I do. Mom was so often unhappy with life and I sadly reflect on what a waste. What a waste of time, emotion, and energy when she had a husband, ( Dad ) who loved her so much, and she had us 4 girls who loved her, and so many grandchildren who loved her. She could be a lot of fun ! ~My children remember her goody drawers, full of candy and prizes for them.,the stories she would tell them and that she was just plain interested in them. My Mother was a good mom when I was little. She was also a foster mother to babies when we lived in Hawaii, Louisiana and Klamath Falls, Oregon. I remember those little foster brothers and sisters, and Mom got to name some of them. She fell in love with those babies and missed them terribly when they went to adoptive homes. ~Here is a picture of Mom with myself and 2 of my younger sisters. Our youngest sister was not yet born. Mom was often caring for us while Dad was deployed. Dad did 2 tours in Korea, 2 tours in Vietnam, and numerous times the Army sent him far away for months at a time. I am not sure why my Mom was so unhappy.....from all I remember, know, and have learned, I think there was a lot of unhappiness all her life....and that is a great sorrow, because as I reflect on those of us who loved her,she was rich and blessed beyond all comprehension. ~This verse from Proverbs is so true, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22 ~If you have a chance, look up all scripture that talks about anger, sadness, bitterness and see what the physical ramifications of those attitudes are....pretty startling and so very true. ~My 3 sisters and I are getting together this weekend for a reunion.Coincidentally, this is also the birthday month of both our parents. This will be the first time we all 4 have been together for many years and I can't wait. We will have a blast, my sisters are fun...and we will reflect on good times. I hope time has helped soften some of the memories and that we are able to be thankful for the hard times that have molded us and our families into stronger and better people, because after all, what is the alternative? "In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family's story embodies its hope and despair." Auguste Napier
"Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back." Mignon McLaughlin
~Here's to memories of happy birthdays and fun times , and thankfulness for the family God has given us, because He does not make mistakes and did not accidentally place us in any family or circumstance..but has allowed whatever life has brought us for our benefit and the ability to rise above any situation with His help and providence and cause good to come of it.
Blessings; sisters, good memories, and yes.... my mother


Mildred said...

I hope that you and your sisters have a wonderful time together this weekend. What a blessing to share time with one another. I hope you will share a few photos of the reunion.

KathyB. said...

Mildred, I plan on taking my trusty camera and doing just that, sharing pictures of us, four sisters, having fun and hopefully creating memories that give us pleasure and comfort in our shared relationship ,good memories to last for many years to come.

Pamela said...

Thank you so much for your words today. I written and deleted and written and deleted about a hundred words here, but I think "thank you" says it all.

And I so hope you have a wonderful time with your sisters.

LindaSueBuhl said...

Good thing about blogging is once we start writing something out - it helps - we can see the words and some of the sting is taken. At least that is my experience. Looking forward to the adventures of Sister's Reunited!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kathy,

Greetings from Austin! Thank you for the tribute to Mom. I have many, many wonderful memories of Mom and Mom as a Grandma to Amy Jo. Yes, her last years were very unpleasant - indicative of someone trying to cover up unhappiness compounded by guilt for things which we are all capable of being forgiven by the One who matters - I still miss her more now than before. Looking forward to the four of us getting together this week end. The only question? Is Ocean Shores ready for us! Love you,

Shiloh Prairie Farm said...

I hope you and your sister's have a very nice reunion. Those are very nice family pictures.

Lanny said...

Cool pictures, good perspective on your mom.

KathyB. said...

Pamela, I did a lot of the writing and deleting, writing and deleting when I wrote this post. I almost completely deleted it and finally, after praying about it, left it as is. I am looking forward to this weekend and a great time with my sisters !

LindaSue, yes, often when I have written something and re-read my words I am stunned by what appears...very often an attitude I did not know I had is glaring back at me. That is when the amazing and magical 'delete' button comes in handy. Wouldn't it be nice if life gave us a 'delete' button sometimes?

Joni! I was thinking a lot about you and our sisters as I wrote this and hoping it would not offend any of you, as I told LindaSue though, if this post causes offense there is always the 'delete' button! see you in 2 days!

Shiloh Prairie Farms, thank-you!

Lanny, aren't the old pictures cool ?I am discovering my parents were snazzy dressers....and time gives a different perspective.

Farm Chick Paula said...

I hope you have a wonderful time with your sisters Kathy and I hope today will be a time to dwell on the good times instead of the bad!

noble pig said...

I'm sure it feels good to have a place to put all those thoughts and feelings. Writing about them helps ease the pain. You know I wonder if she was depressed. It seems a lot of people were in those days and it wasn't treated and no one talked about it. I'm sorry you have poor memories, it doesn't seem fair.

Enjoy the time with your sisters it sounds fun.

Tazewell County, VA said...

KathyB...I am so sorry your mother was unhappy and am sorry your little sister doesn't have good memories. Have a terrific time, make new, great memories for you to share when life gets frosty.
Sandra @ Thistle Cove Farm

KathyB. said...

Thank-you Farm Chick Paula, Noble Pig and Sandra, we sisters have a lot of fun together and we will enjoy this weekend. I will probably have a tummy ache from laughing so much!

Daisy said...

Kathy, I'm glad you have good memories of your mother too, and not just ones of when she was unhappy. All families have times of sadness and despair and feelings of hopelessness, I think. Some much more than others. Looking for the good in life and being grateful for all the blessings really helps to balance out that sadness. I hope you and your sisters have a wonderful visit together.

disa said...